Dane Zeller? Oh, yeah.

To all my readers. You may use the following script whenever you think it would help. Scene: (A Starbucks Coffee Shop, A very crowded Panera Bread restaurant, In the audience of a poetry reading, or sitting in a baseball stadium watching a baseball game drone by.) Characters; You, played by “you”. Characters: Him, played by [...] Read more »

Financial Expert Reveals His Top Pick

One BananaTwo, One Monkey Typing’s resident financial guru, reluctantly gives investment advice. Managing editor, Dane Zeller, interviews One. Dane: Dr. BananaTwo, our readers are anxiously awaiting your advice for 2019. One: uh…so? Dane: So…what’s your best stock tip for 2019? One: How should I know? Dane: You’re the EXPERT! One: And Donald Trump is the [...] Read more »

Dane’s 2019 Progress Report

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Photo Highlights from Dane’s Camera

Our first grandson. In this photo, Rita is teaching Denny how to smile and shop. Years ago, I got a chance to go to see Jimi Hendrix, but I didn’t go. He died. So, when the Beach Boys came into town last month, I paid good money to take a picture of Brian Wilson. Great [...] Read more »

New Rules for Punctuation

Click the link below: From Mike Kelly Read more »

AT&T Technical Support: You break it, you pay for it.

My Directv receiver shut down last night. I got a diagnostic code, and the screen said to reboot the device. I did. Then it told me to call technical support. I did. She couldn’t reboot it. She said I would have to pay $20 to ship a new receiver, and then pay $8.95 per month [...] Read more »

Poet Laureate Apologizes to His Fans

You may have misunderstood me. The truth of the matter is that I’m retiring from my job as Poet Laureate of Olathe, Kansas. I will still be making my living writing other forms of literature, like short stories, epic novels, and recipes for chocolate fudge. I’ve decided that the rules and mandates of poetry are [...] Read more »

DaNang, 1965

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A Letter to President Pzbiackiy

Dr. Paul Pzbiackiy President and Chairman of the Board Hawthorne University (the name of the university has been changed to protect the perpetrators.) Dear Dr. Pzbiackiy, Greetings from academia here at Hawthorne University. I trust you’ll interpret this letter as a hope for better education at our esteemed University, and not a basis for my [...] Read more »

Insidious Practice Alert #9. Don’t Put Your Dog in a Costume for Halloween

You might think your dog looks cute with a Donald Trump wig on at Halloween, but “cute” is not a dog concept. If King is wagging his tail and smiling when you photograph him in his Aardvark, or Mongoose, costume, do not misunderstand his behavior. He is planning to visit dog karma on you, not [...] Read more »

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