Road Rage at Zero Miles Per Hour

Yeah, buddy, there’s a reason your ’86 Volvo is moving forward while your transmission is in park. You went over your allotted time for ordering at the Burger King drive-up window. How complicated can your order be? How confusing can five items on a menu be? You got your hamburger; you got your fries; you [...] Read more »

Taxpayer Asks: What’s The Rush?

My Annual Friends

It’s too late for my insidious practice alert (ipAlert). Your CPA, protective of his time, scheduled your meeting on February 1st. You went. You’re done. No fuss, no worry, no tension caused by an impending tax filing deadline. Forget this insidious practice of early tax filing. The problems with early filing: 1. You give up [...] Read more »

Poet Laureate Apologizes to His Fans

You may have misunderstood me. The truth of the matter is that I’m retiring from my job as Poet Laureate of Olathe, Kansas. I will still be making my living writing other forms of literature, like short stories, epic novels, and recipes for chocolate fudge. I’ve decided that the rules and mandates of poetry are [...] Read more »

College Professor Destroys New Year’s Resolutions

In a study submitted to “The Journal of the Psychology of Economics”, Professor Dane Zeller has shown the deleterious effects of the making of New Year’s resolutions. “Centering a resolution on January 1st of the new year has the effect of postponing good habits until the end of the year. No one uses August 1st [...] Read more »

The Lord Giveth; Let Him Take it Away

Another insidious practice alert by Dane Zeller: shoveling snow. There, a few more things out of my garage and I’ll be able to park my car inside this winter. You may think I’ve been hasty in my decision to throw away my snow shovel. Not so. God drops snow on all of my neighborhood. He [...] Read more »

Local Author Fails at Writing

NaNoWriMo (National Write a Novel in a Month) is a writing project that is sweeping the nation. This is the fourth day of the month, and if you divide the number of days (30) into the number of words (50,000), your daily quota is 1,666 words. Your counters should stand at near 4000 right now. [...] Read more »

ipALERT !!! Your Dog Doesn’t Want to Wear a Costume on Halloween: An Insidious Practice Alert !

You might think your dog looks cute with a Donald Trump wig on at Halloween, but “cute” is not a dog concept. If King is wagging his tail and smiling when you photograph him in his Aardvark, or Mongoose, costume, do not misunderstand his behavior. He is planning to visit dog karma on you, not [...] Read more »

Insidious Practice Alert !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone soon will ask if you want to be a participant in NaNoWriMo. Refuse! Otherwise, you will have to write a whole novel in November. (National Novel Writing Month.) During those thirty days, you will not be: Watching college basketball. Sleeping in your recliner. Relaxed. You will be: Regretting how far behind you are. Punishing [...] Read more »

Is it me or the world? Lulu talks at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial

Hello ladies and germs, Thursday, October 1, 2015, Lulu will be talking to us on KKFI 90.1, on the program, “Shots in the Night”. The show will begin at 7:30 pm, with several stories. You can listen live at KKFI,  Streaming audio. For those of you who missed Bob’s confession on September 3rd, click here [...] Read more »

Employment Advice From The JobBuster: Beeeeep!!

Dear Mr. Monk, I own an auto parts business in Tupelo. I have seven employees who get along real well. I usually hire someone by word of mouth. So, they’re likely friends of friends, or relatives of friends. Last week someone walked in with a resume. No one knew him, and I didn’t feel comfortable about [...] Read more »

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