My Boss The Jerk

Dear Mr. Monk, My boss’ name is Jay. I don’t care if he reads this. Jay thinks we do better work when he yells at us and belittles us. Don’t tell me to go over his head. He is the head, the owner of the company. Because he is the boss and a jerk, no [...] Read more »

JobBuster Monk’s Resume Advice: Don’t

Dear Mr. Monk, I’m sixty years old, and I’ve busted my sales quota every quarter for the last ten years. I sent my resume to forty or fifty organizations without a single response. I hired an employment specialist, and she said I shouldn’t reveal my age in my resume. I worked at one place for [...] Read more »

Failure to Communicate: email

Dear Mr. Monk, We got a new director this week, and he wants us to embed our photo in the signature of our emails. He says he wants to know what we look like when he communicates with us. This is creepy to me. I don’t mind him seeing what I look like, but my [...] Read more »

JobBuster Monk Gives Employment Advice

Dear Mr. Monk, I’ve been a claims adjuster for a large insurance company for the last ten years. Last week I gave my two week’s notice, and I felt great! Then I talked to my uncle who is an accountant for a nationwide firm, and he asked me how many car payments I will be [...] Read more »

The Dark Side of Book Promotion: Brutal Honesty by Author

The following email exchange has been secured through the Freedom of Information Act. Hubert Maga Director of Funeral Processes 34 Dahomey St. Suite 102 Republic of Benin, A1P33 TelFax Number:0022-999-653-899 or +22-999-653-899. NOTICE OF FUNERAL INHERITANCE CLAIMS, BENEFICIARY CORRESPONDENCE Attention Mr. Dane Zeller, Goodday to you,happy new year to 2014 long life and prosperity,Definitely, I [...] Read more »

Shocking Claim by Author: “I wrote my whole novel on a portable Smith-Corona manual typewriter.”

The following interview of author Dane Zeller is conducted by Mr. O.M. Typing, editor of One Monkey Typing publications. OM: Good afternoon, Mr. Zeller. DZ: Good to be here, Mr. Typing. OM: It is indeed an honor to interview such a distinguished writer who claims to have written his novel on a manual typewriter. DZ: [...] Read more »

Ken Kappelmann Slays Dragon and Seriously Injures Self-published Author

by Dane Zeller It was a warm, foreboding morning at the 2013 Kansas Book Festival. My first book festival paired me with Kenneth Kappelmann, author of the fantasy “The Return of the Dragons” (Tate Publishing). Ken was early enough to have his books and signs set out, and kind and tall enough to help string [...] Read more »

FBI Agent Threatens Writer With Arrest and Prosecution

In today’s climate of transparency, I must divulge a threat made to me by one John Edward, an agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. My response to his surprising letter is included. Federal Bureau of Investigation Field Intelligence Unit J. Edgar Hoover Building. 935 Pennsylvania Ave NW Washington, DC 20535, USA. Urgent Attention: Beneficiary, [...] Read more »

Publisher Attempts Extradition of Leaker of Book Manuscript

Yesterday, a reporter from the Daily Times requested an interview with our company for their coverage of the leaking of a chapter from Dane Zeller’s unfinished novel, “Deadly Soup.” The following interview of our Chief of Security, Bronco Monk, has been edited for brevity. Times: Mr. Monk, could you give me the name of your [...] Read more »

Technician at Publishing House Leaks Author’s Unfinished Book

Hello, I must remain anonymous because I could lose my job doing this. The editor of Dane Zeller’s new book, “Deadly Soup,” is nitpicking the manuscript so much that the book will never get published.This is a disservice to the author, and to the private investigator, Donald Milkey. I have the password to the blog, [...] Read more »

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