The Dark Side of Book Promotion: Brutal Honesty by Author

The following email exchange has been secured through the Freedom of Information Act. Hubert Maga Director of Funeral Processes 34 Dahomey St. Suite 102 Republic of Benin, A1P33 TelFax Number:0022-999-653-899 or +22-999-653-899. NOTICE OF FUNERAL INHERITANCE CLAIMS, BENEFICIARY CORRESPONDENCE Attention Mr. Dane Zeller, Goodday to you,happy new year to 2014 long life and prosperity,Definitely, I [...] Read more »

Shocking Claim by Author: “I wrote my whole novel on a portable Smith-Corona manual typewriter.”

The following interview of author Dane Zeller is conducted by Mr. O.M. Typing, editor of One Monkey Typing publications. OM: Good afternoon, Mr. Zeller. DZ: Good to be here, Mr. Typing. OM: It is indeed an honor to interview such a distinguished writer who claims to have written his novel on a manual typewriter. DZ: [...] Read more »

Ken Kappelmann Slays Dragon and Seriously Injures Self-published Author

by Dane Zeller It was a warm, foreboding morning at the 2013 Kansas Book Festival. My first book festival paired me with Kenneth Kappelmann, author of the fantasy “The Return of the Dragons” (Tate Publishing). Ken was early enough to have his books and signs set out, and kind and tall enough to help string [...] Read more »

FBI Agent Threatens Writer With Arrest and Prosecution

In today’s climate of transparency, I must divulge a threat made to me by one John Edward, an agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. My response to his surprising letter is included. Federal Bureau of Investigation Field Intelligence Unit J. Edgar Hoover Building. 935 Pennsylvania Ave NW Washington, DC 20535, USA. Urgent Attention: Beneficiary, [...] Read more »

Publisher Attempts Extradition of Leaker of Book Manuscript

Yesterday, a reporter from the Daily Times requested an interview with our company for their coverage of the leaking of a chapter from Dane Zeller’s unfinished novel, “Deadly Soup.” The following interview of our Chief of Security, Bronco Monk, has been edited for brevity. Times: Mr. Monk, could you give me the name of your [...] Read more »

Technician at Publishing House Leaks Author’s Unfinished Book

Hello, I must remain anonymous because I could lose my job doing this. The editor of Dane Zeller’s new book, “Deadly Soup,” is nitpicking the manuscript so much that the book will never get published.This is a disservice to the author, and to the private investigator, Donald Milkey. I have the password to the blog, [...] Read more »

Noted Author Shoots Aspiring Writer at Workshop

Steve Almond, creator of “God Bless America: Stories”, pulled a pistol from a briefcase and shot Dane Zeller in his left hand, immediately following Zeller’s reading of his in-class assignment. Those who have taken Almond’s courses before confirm that he carries a gun to emphasize his points and to motivate his students. According to the [...] Read more »

The Proper Order of Things for Writers

by Dane Zeller Wanna buy my book? For writers, that really is the reason we blog, post on facebook, tweet. We build our “platforms,” so people will like us…and then…buy our book. We’ve got this all wrong. In an earlier blog, I talked about Austin Kleon, a poet who creates his poetry by taking a [...] Read more »

Personal Finance Question “Should I Buy or Rent My Home?” Answered by OneBanana Two

If you’re deciding to buy or rent your home, consider this: both choices force you to depend on a partner. If you buy, you will have a banker as a new friend. If you rent, you will sign a deal with a landlord. Who’s your best new friend? Would it be the banker who will [...] Read more »

Health Care Crisis Solved: Noted Medical Writer Explains Solution

One Monkey Typing Publishing is honored to interview the architect of a new health program that fundamentally alters the way we provide health care in America. Dane Zeller, editor, conducts the interview of Dr. Hamlet Peel, author of “Fundamental Health Care: A Measured Step to a Cure.” DZ: We are honored to have you here, [...] Read more »

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