Lifestyle Author Loses His Muse

Hamlet Monk

Hamlet Monk, author of “Hobo Soup,” has had an argument with his muse. One Monkey Typing microphones were inadvertently left on in Hamlet’s cubicle at the publisher’s headquarters.

Hamlet: Well?
Muse: So?
Hamlet: Inspire me.
Muse: Four score and…
Hamlet: No, that’s a cliche; you’ll have to do better.
Muse: …and I took the road less traveled…
Hamlet: I’ve read the poem.
Muse: …the toss to first…Don Larsen has pitched a perfect game!
Hamlet: Please, sports are inspiring?
Muse: That’s about all I have.
Hamlet: What? You can’t say that. You’re my muse.
Muse: I can tell you’re not interested.
Hamlet: That’s your job. You’re supposed to interest me.
Muse: Well, I can’t. I’m through.
Hamlet: It’s about writing, for God’s sake.
Muse: Right.
Hamlet: This is my life.
Muse: Yep. (Yawn)
Hamlet: It’s important. I observe. I write. I leave a record behind. I make observations. My readers see the world from a different perspective when they read my writing.
Muse: Really.
Hamlet: When we write in our little cubicles, we make imperceptible changes to our larger world. And you yawn at the power of pen and ink?
Muse: hmm…
Hamlet: I used to rely on you.
Muse: Say, Hamlet. Hand me that pen and paper.

Help Wanted

Muse. No experience necessary. Must be able to deal with obnoxious writers who have irrational demands. Please apply in the comments section.

  • Dawn Downey

    Sounds like a lousy job. I’ve heard writers are cheap, so I’ll pass and collect social security instead.

    • One Monkey T.

      Thank you for applying, Ms. Downey. We will let you know if we wish to interview for the position. By the way, there is no requirement that you like the writer or the job.

  • Crazie Town

    Deer Sir, I wood like two kindly aplie for job of muse. I em currently unemployed by the town of Crazie.

    • One Monkey T.

      Thank you for applying, Ms. Crazie. We will let you know if we wish to interview for the position. By the way, there will be a spelling test.

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