Health Care Crisis Solved: Noted Medical Writer Explains Solution

One Monkey Typing Publishing is honored to interview the architect of a new health program that fundamentally alters the way we provide health care in America. Dane Zeller, editor, conducts the interview of Dr. Hamlet Peel, author of “Fundamental Health Care: A Measured Step to a Cure.”

Stethoscope on Book

DZ: We are honored to have you here, Dr. Peel. Our readers are poised, waiting to hear your solution to this complicated and contentious issue.

Peel: It’s a pleasure to be here.

DZ: Could you give us a summary of your new solution, in layman’s terms?

Peel: Yes. The idea for this new system came to me one day when I was going through some old photographs.

DZ: Family photos?

Peel: Yes. A photograph of my grandfather, in particular. The photo was a portrait of him when he was 97. He looked like he was in his 60′s.

DZ: Apparently, he solved his health crisis.

Peel: Indeed, he did. The photo of him is improbable to all of his children and grandchildren because Grandma Sid cooked food for him that was high in lard and sugar. The theory was that grandma was killing him slowly with her rich recipes, in an attempt to gain complete control of the farm. All bets were on him dying before the age of seventy.

DZ: Interesting story, but…

Peel: At age fifty, grandpa developed the habit of drinking a tablespoon of vinegar each day.

DZ: …uh…

Peel: He claimed that it warded off heart attacks, gout, mosquito bites, warts and plotting women.

DZ: Really…but how did you get from there to your new system?

Peel: Well, if you could see his photo, you would understand that it worked for him.

DZ: Uh…surely your new system isn’t based on tablespoons of vinegar?

Peel: It’s so simple.

DZ: You’re kidding.

Peel: It’s important to take it with your breakfast.

DZ: My god, have you written an entire book on this?

Peel: Didn’t you read my book?

DZ: Hell no, I can’t read every book that comes across my desk.

Peel: It describes a simple health care solution in ten pages. The other 476 pages describe how to get it through congress.

DZ: I don’t doubt it.

Peel: I anticipate that the Vinegar Bill will be buffeted by all sorts of amendments by senators and congressmen trying to get their own grandfather’s elixir into the bill. You know, a teaspoon of cod liver oil, a shot of whiskey, a half-cup of wheat germ.

DZ: I’ve been talking with Dr. Hamlet Peel, …

Peel: Wait, I’m not through with the Vinegar Bill.

DZ: …his book is “Fundamental Health Care: A Measured Step to a Cure.”

Peel: There’s a great chapter on using the filibuster to block any alteration to the bill.

DZ: Thank you, Dr. Peel.

Peel: You didn’t mention…

DZ: Good bye.

Peel: …my appearance on Dr. Oz.