Yesterday, a reporter from the Daily Times requested an interview with our company for their coverage of the leaking of a chapter from Dane Zeller’s unfinished novel, “Deadly Soup.” The following interview of our Chief of Security, Bronco Monk, has been edited for brevity.
Times: Mr. Monk, could you give me the name of your employee who leaked a chapter of “Deadly Soup”?
Bronco: Well, we’ve got an ongoing investigation…”
Times: Was it Elizabeth Leonard?
Bronco: She is one of the suspects.
Times: Who are the others?
Bronco: I’m not at liberty to say.
Times: Are there more than two other suspects?
Bronco: No.
Times: More than one?
Bronco: No.
Times: What is Leonard’s job at One Monkey Typing?
Bronco: She’s involved with public relations.
Times: What was her motive for leaking the chapter?
Bronco: As she said in her note, she thinks the editorial side of the company is being too restrictive, and Zeller’s novel is in danger of not being published in a timely manner.
Times: What do you think about that?
Bronco: I’m just in security here, I don’t get into the production side.
Times: But you do have something to do with marketing, don’t you?
Bronco: What? Oh no.
Times: I believe we’ve reviewed several of your company’s books. I think you were the contact person. Weren’t you vice president of marketing at one time?
Bronco: Me?
Times: In fact, could this leak be a cleverly disguised promotional plan to generate sales of “Deadly Soup?”
Bronco: Absolutely not. Even though I’ve read a draft and it’s about the best…
Times: …thanks for your time and information.
Bronco: But we haven’t even discussed our attempt to extradite Leonard from…
Times:…good-bye, Mr. Bronco.
Bronco: Here, let me get you a copy of the full manuscript…