JobBuster Monk’s Resume Advice: Don’t

Dear Mr. Monk,

I’m sixty years old, and I’ve busted my sales quota every quarter for the last ten years. I sent my resume to forty or fifty organizations without a single response. I hired an employment specialist, and she said I shouldn’t reveal my age in my resume. I worked at one place for ten years and another for thirty. Anyone can do the math. So, I rewrote the resume and got some calls and interviews. I didn’t get a job. Will I ever get past this discrimination?

Ted from Des Moines

Dear Ted,

Yes, you will, Ted.

JobBuster Monk

First, toss the resume. They are for companies who want a quick way to ignore their most important job: hiring the right people.   They look for misspelled words, poor grammar, gaps in the resume, maybe an oily smudge on the corner of the page.

Second, put a new sheet of paper in your Selectric and write a letter that starts out with the first sentence of your question above. Then tell the prospective employer what you’ve done, and more importantly, how you do things. If you greet every customer with a smile and a handshake, write it. If you compliment every fellow employee, mention it. If you give twenty dollars of effort for every fifteen dollars of pay, tell them.

Good employers hire for attitude, not youth. Trust me, you would not want to work for someone who gets fooled by a jerry-rigged resume.

JobBuster Monk

My dear readers: Send me your employment questions. I’ve had over thirty jobs. I’m an expert.

  • nangagutza

    Thanks, JobBuster! I always hated looking for jobs and writing resumes. I only actually got one job. That was right out of college, and it lasted 3 years. I kept procrastinating until it was time to retire, and now I’m happier than ever, knowing I don’t have to look for a job or write a resume ever again. Your note to Ted also relieved a lot of guilt I’ve carried around for not trying harder and writing more resumes when I was of that age. I feel so much lighter now. Thanks again, JobBuster Monk!

  • http://www.danezeller.com Dane Zeller

    I aim to serve, Nan.

    Not only does JobBuster refer to himself in third person, he has a long memory. When you lost your first and last job, and you were thinking you were in danger of being hired, I told you to add your Art History degree to your resume. It looks like you did. Guilt? You should have come to me earlier. It was not your fault. You were the victim of academic discrimination.

    You might be interested in my new book, “Hobo Soup: Living on forty cents a day.” It’s at your local amazon, 2.99 softcover, .99 Kindle.

    Thanks for writing in!